Featuring guests Tara Viland, Kai Viland, and Cassie Wanamaker
Bonnaroo is famous for being a place where people can explore not only music, but themselves. That's why it is so important to foster safe environments for people of all walks of life. This week on The What Podcast, guests Tara Viland, Kai Viland, and Cassie Wanamaker join Barry and Bryan to continue last episode's conversation about staying sober on The Farm.
The crew chats about how Bonnaroo is a wonderful place for meeting new people and exploring new worlds, but how it can also be a tough place for people trying to lead a sober life. With the right support and a good mindset, however, it can lead to just as rewarding of an experience.
Listen to this episode now or watch it on YouTube. Do us a solid and also like, review, and subscribe to The What Podcast wherever you listen.
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Staying Sober and Finding Support at Bonnaroo
Live music festivals can be a life-changing event both in good ways and bad.
They're an opportunity to hear some great music of course but they are also
an opportunity to make some lifelong memories. None do it better than the
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. We're here to talk about it right now.
All right welcome back to another episode of the What Podcast. I'm Barry, that's Brian.
You'll notice Lord Taco is not with us today. He's off doing whatever one does in a VW bus.
It's Bugapalooza in Chattanooga. That's his other happy place. I'm sure he's having a great time.
Yep it's a fun event here in Chattanooga and he's an organizer as well.
He'll get us cleaned up, make the show look good like he always does, and we'll talk to him again next week.
We've got a kind of a part two I guess. We had Patrick Whelan on from the founder of Soberoo last week.
I thought it was a fascinating show and we wanted to extend it by having a couple other people that
we know sort of give more perspective I guess on how to do a festival sober, do an event like this sober.
Brian you're gracious enough to talk about your own experience.
We thought we'd have Tara Veland and her daughter Kai who is 17. Kai is one of the
coolest people that I know, especially as a young person, but just as a person in general.
Yeah she's the official intern of the podcast. I don't know how much longer she's gonna want to
have that title. It's probably flattering at first but now it's like okay enough guys.
But no it's been fun to see the maturation of her and her family and how they've done it.
We also will talk a little bit about the do's and don'ts of bringing a teenager.
We talk about the do's and don'ts of grown-ass adults.
About the do's and don'ts of bringing a teenager and we'll get into that here shortly and that was
interesting as well from Tara. So a fun little follow-up. It's kind of a hybrid.
It's not a complete follow-up but I do want to say about last week's show is that it did turn out well
and I'm my worst critic on things and I wasn't sure if it was because I won't really know
until it's done and then kind of give it a review of my own. But really what it comes down to,
forget me, forget you, forget Russ. Patrick was a great guest. 100%. Just a great guest.
Forget what organization he's here to talk about. Insert whatever organization that it might be if
it wasn't that. He's just a great guest and those are hard to find sometimes and we didn't even
really know that going into it and that is what makes this kind of content great to me, fun to me
and good for what I believe the listener too because you, I mean, yeah we can talk about things
all day long. We can talk for the next couple hours. Barry, there's just no reason to do that.
Right. But bring in somebody who really has something to say, is excited to be there. Man,
Patrick was all that and I love that about him and I mean I feel like he's my friend. I've never
met him and I got to hang out with him at Bonnarooo. I 100% agree. He and just like this episode,
I think he brings a deeper perspective than just one thing. You know, we pointed out last week the
fact that, you know, he came out of the Grateful Dead culture. Yeah, which none of us knew until
we discussed it on that show. Yeah. I thought it was so important to point out, you know, that
and we do in this episode as well, that Bonnarooo is a place where people go to do recreational
drugs and drinking and that's fine. Yeah, and to learn about themselves and sometimes that enhances
that and, um, right. Yeah, I, what I appreciate about him too was maybe when I would think about,
you know, how we layered, how we did the show and maybe meandered a little bit. He knew what we were
trying to get to and he got to it. And so if you have not seen that whole thing, it is long and,
but it is worth every second of it. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't just get on here and start saying that
if I didn't believe it. I just say, yeah, that was good, Barry. Anyway, next move along. Yeah,
move on. You know, I, I totally, I was 100% like this, this is, this is some pretty good work and
it was all Patrick that he made that thing go. Well, and along those lines, again, the guest today,
um, you know, you'll hear, we, like I said, Kai is 17 with six years of experience. Uh, she brings
that perspective. Tara, uh, her mother is an 18 year, going on 19 year veteran. Um, and a veteran
of live music space all the way around professionally as well. Venues here. She's on the board here for,
uh, the one of our larger summer series. So this is this, she brings a experience, uh, from,
from a perspective, um, you know, that not everybody has, uh, Cassie is, uh, eight year
Cassie Wanamaker is our other guest. She's been to eight Bonnarooo's, uh, what'd she say, the last
three sober tour three, three, um, and so, you know, we talk about the support that's needed and
how do you get through that and, and all that. And again, I want to emphasize this is not a show about
trying to, um, change anyone's mind or how you experience it. If, if you, you know, if you want
to go there and drink and do recreational drugs, please do. Like I said, I can't think of a better
place. Yeah. I mean, if you know what you're doing and you, and, and, and it, and you've got a plan,
there's nothing wrong with it. And, um, it's just for some, there isn't, and to know that there's
things you can do to, to prepare, to be preventative for issues and be safe and not be
stigmatized for that. And starting from last week, organizations where if you just need to get away,
even if you're not in, like, I had trouble with this at first, like when they call it, if you're
a recovering addict, you're in recovery for forever. Like that's how it's referenced. Like,
Oh, so you in recovery still? I'm like, well, yeah, I thought I was done with recovery. No,
you're really not based on the, their, their terminology. And, um, and so if maybe if you,
even if you're not in what you would consider a recovery, but you just need to get away from
the madness. So, Baru is that, is that outlet for you? And, um, yeah. So just great show last week.
And, and to understand how that organization works and to have some people today, we'll get to here
very, very shortly before we do that real quick, Mary, if you don't care, I wanted to bring up this
Texas eclipse festival. Um, not a huge news that we need to spend a long period of time on, but,
and, and I didn't get too far into the weeds through the social threads, like I normally do.
It was a 40,000 capacity festival last weekend. So it ended the day after we last recorded. So
it's about a week, a week and three days, about 10 days old now, but it was a one, it one-off put
together that was in the line of totality for the, um, for the eclipse on Monday. And so it started
on Friday and it was going to end on Tuesday. And this is EDM all day EDM didn't recognize the name
on it, but it also had a lot of art installations, lots of astrology, tarot, all this stuff you would
expect to come with that kind of celestial event. And so by all accounts, it was a, uh, uh,
from what I read, I didn't get to the 40,000 ticket capacity, but it was still, I think in the half
of plus of that. So a decent amount of people and whether tornadoes hail really bad forecast came in
into the, this Texas area, forgive me for not knowing what part of Texas, but somewhere where
that swath of totality runs through and they, and at 10 AM on eclipse Monday, they canceled the
remainder of the event because of the weather forecast looked that bad. So it started on Friday.
You're, you're thinking you're going to make it through this and the, the eclipse is kind of the
star of the show. It's almost the headliner of the festival and this very unique, cool idea,
at least the little I know about it, but just imagine being at a festival where that's the
thing you're waiting for. Kind of, it's kind of the crescendo and four hours before it starts,
they're evacuating, closing, and it's done. Now the whole, all that swath of Texas kind of got
their eclipse ruined because the weather came through and kind of ruined it. I mean, it got
dark, but it was going to get dark anyway, cause it was going to be bad, bad storms. So that's just
unfortunate. Yeah. So that's just unfortunate for them, but just to be, you know, kind of out of
pocket a little because you're at this festival thing and I don't know the grounds are much more
than that, but then just being told, Hey, yeah, the, the clip starts in a few hours. You gotta go,
go home and watch. Wow. I didn't, I hadn't heard anything about that. I don't think there was a,
they did some partial refunds, no big deal as far as no, no, no, no, I, there were actually talk
about maybe some health stuff, but I didn't get too far into it. Just thought, man, can you imagine
that? So that's just the latest of festival talk for, for the week. And I thought it was worth,
worth mentioning. You mentioned the, um, um, how many people showed up. That reminds me, I had a
couple of conversations this week and it does look like Bonnarooo, uh, you know, there was some talk
that it was way down the numbers. Um, I've been told probably going to be somewhat like last year,
which I think was 60 plus. Yeah. Yeah. 60 to 70. Yeah. So that'd be more comfortable for us.
And that's, that's a number that's not like, what are we going to do? That's still a, that's still
a solid number. So, uh, also the, uh, the day you remember there was the talk where they were not
going to do day passes and then backed off on that immediately. And it, and it has made a difference
as far as sales. So, uh, that's, that's why they did it. So we'll see how that works out. Yeah. Um,
I don't have strong feelings either way on that one. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Yeah. I don't either, uh, from a, you know, a philosophical, uh, social thread, I don't have
an opinion there. If you can sell more tickets, do whatever it takes. Gotta make money. So I agree
with that. All right. So here we go with our conversation with Cassie, Tara and Kai and, uh,
thanks again to them. And we'll be, um, I'm, I'm anxious to hit for everybody here. It was
a great conversation and, um, I thank them for their time. Hey everybody. If you're a longtime
listener to the show, you'll remember last week we had Patrick Whelan, the founder of Soberoo,
one of my favorite episodes. Um, I don't know if you guys, you're nodding your head. I hope you got
to hear it. I did. And Cassie and, and Brian, I know we talked all week, um, with our co-host,
uh, Lord Taco Russ, who you'll notice is not here. Uh, I guess by the way, I should start, um,
um, and just say he's at Bugapalooza, which is his second happiest place on earth. I imagine
Bonnarooo probably is, I don't know which is one or two, but, uh, Russ with the bus,
uh, a bunch of Beatle fanatics, Volkswagen fanatics or- Yeah. He might not admit it out loud. He
might have a different, um, tune when he's out there with all his bus VW people. Uh, I would
guess Bonnarooo is overtaking the number one, but, uh, Bugapalooza is one of the biggest Volkswagen
car shows in the Southeast. Um, it might even go bigger than that. So it's a pretty big deal here
in Chattanooga and it is as about as perfect a weather as it could be for, uh, a spring weekend.
So yeah, that's where he is. And I usually pop in there and won't make it this year though.
Not only is he there because he's got a VW, but he's very active in,
in the event and, uh, planning it and all that. So hope he's having a good time. He'll be back next
week, but last week we had, like I said, uh, Patrick on who we spent almost more than an hour
talking about attending an event like Bonnarooo, uh, sober. And it was, uh, I thought it was
terribly insightful, uh, for so many reasons, uh, so much so that we want to continue that conversation.
Um, we've got, uh, with us, Tara Veland, I always want to make it more emphasis.
Veland.
Tara V is fun.
Yeah.
And her daughter, Kai. Kai, you are how old now?
I'm 17.
That's what I thought. And, uh, we'll get into their, their creds here in, in the
minute and, uh, Cassie Wanamaker is joining us as well. Right. We're gonna, what I want to do is
talk a little bit about, not a little bit, as much as we want to, um, just sort of extend that
conversation. And then also, uh, you guys are veteran Bonnarooo attendees. So we want to get your,
um, you know, take on the festival in general as well. Um, so I'll give a, uh, I'll go ahead and
ask, I'll start with you, Cassie, how many years have you attended and, uh, why and when did it
start and all that? What's your relationship?
So I've been to Bonnarooo eight times this year will be my ninth time. Um, I started going in
2014 and I've went consecutively ever since.
Tara, your answer is going to be a bit, a little bit longer.
I'll go ahead and let you try to you for, I've known Tara for a long time for guys in the show
and Brian, I know you have as well. Um, like a lot of us, this festival and, and Cassie, I assume
you as well, it, it hits a lot more than just an event, right? I mean, it, it meaningful to us all,
uh, year round. Um, so Tara, reason I was laughing is you send a nice email with kind of some talking
points and some notes and it's pretty extensive. So I'll let you sort of hit the highlights to that
if you can. And then we'll, we'll all jump back in because your story is so similar to so many
others, but so unique. And to me, that's the whole, that's what makes this event special.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, thank you, Barry, for that. Um, yeah. So Bonnarooo is in my blood. Um, you know,
talking about that story, I grew up here in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I became a wild child
at a very young age. No one ever talked to me about college or careers or what you wanted to
do with your life. And I ended up moving after graduating high school by miracle, uh, to, uh,
Norfolk, Virginia. And while I was there, again, somehow got a job, uh, as a security guard at the
Virginia beach amphitheater. Uh, I'll never forget being like a 19 year old, you know, tiny thing.
And my, one of my first shows was watching the pyro boxes at Metallica.
I've these huge stage hands are all walking around that I've waited on at my restaurant job
the night before. So that was kind of cool. Um, but, uh, that same company that I was in,
um, but, uh, that same company actually led me back home to Tennessee. Uh, at that time,
I'd never heard of Bonnarooo. It had only been to a few concerts and, uh, got off a bus with
$7 to my name and spent two weeks on the farm, uh, doing security. And so, um, production road, uh,
it blew my mind seeing the different aspects of it. And, uh, from the power to the stage hands,
to the production, to the water guys, you know, like all of these different elements that come
together to make this festival. And I finally said, this is what I want to do. Um, there was
a woman who was driving a, a lift and she had this big floppy hat on, right? I'll never forget.
She was a blonde woman with this big floppy hat, driving the lift around. And I said, whatever I
can do in my life to get me to that point, that's what I want to do in retirement. I want to just
drive around festivals and drive a lift. So, uh, it'll be 18, 19 years for me this year. So this
will be my 19th Bonnarooo. Um, and yeah, we're, we're excited. It is, it's more than just
going to see the shows. It's, it's being home on the farm for a few days every year and getting
away and being in one of the largest cities in Chattanooga, you know, in Tennessee. So.
So we said last week, Brian, you've been to pretty much all of them in some form or some longer,
more days than others. Uh, the first, the first several, um, or let's put it this way, the last
one sober, Tara, it's a couple of years now for you, right? Yeah. I'll be celebrating four years in May.
And Cassie, what, what is your, did you always, all eight have been sober or? Yeah. No, just the
last two, I have not drank alcohol and I'll have, uh, my third year sober date actually will be on
the farm this year on the Thursday. So that's pretty exciting. Congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah. Let's get together and throw your sober birthday party on the farm.
So I'm going to ask all three of you because, uh, and again, we talked about it last week, but it's
a, it's a phenomena, it's a fascinating phenomenon to me because of the perception, if that's the
right word, that an event like Bonnarooo has, it is not perceived to be a sober place, whether that's
true or not. So I mean, I'll ask all three of you, talk about that a little bit from your own point
of view. Cause Brian, I've heard you talk about it a little bit, the idea of, can I enjoy this
festival sober? Even, you know, it's such a life changing thing. And I kind of want to hear from
all three of you about what that, how much that played into everything. Yeah. I'll go last Cassie.
Once you start first with that, with that thought and then bounce the tear and then I'll, and then
I'll, I'll throw mine in there as well. Okay. So the question is how can I have fun sober or
can I have fun sober? Yeah. Maybe leading up to that decision and all that. How much did that play
into your thought process? Yeah. Yes. Well, I will say when I quit drinking, I definitely feared that
I was going to like, fear of missing out pretty much FOMO is what we say. I thought that I was
going to miss the magic of the farm or I was going to not just, I don't know, not feel what everyone
else was feeling or the majority of people. But in reality for me, being sober is much better
because I can be fully present and I can still experience the farm the same things as I would
while on substances or drunk. But now I can like completely remember everything. I can
have more energy, be more active, not feel like death on the farm, like being hung over or anything
like that. So the first year that I did it sober, I was worried that I might feel weird or like I
was missing out on something, but I definitely didn't. It was actually really good. And the farm
has so many lights and sounds and people, it's almost like you're on a substance anyway, but
you're not. So it's, it's been really good. I agree with that a hundred percent. Terry,
your thoughts on that. We've never really talked about that just as friends or colleagues or as,
you know, just in passing at the time of when, of your date to stop drinking, I think,
was it around Mother's Day? May 8th. Yeah. May 8th. Yeah. Yeah. Your thoughts on, I mean,
were you like, oh no, I'm not going to have fun anymore. My guess is you're a little more logical
and maybe you thought it through better than some of us, but that's just my first thoughts.
No, no, no. Well, you know, there's two funny things that, you know, my husband got sober with
me to husband Joe, who also goes to camp with us. And, uh, uh, we, you know, I definitely don't lose
as many things. So that's really nice. You know, I have had a really good track record for many
years of losing my phone pretty much as soon as I stepped into any festival grounds. Um, you know,
I remember better than that. You're better than that. Like before, before smartphones, right? We
could lose them and just go get another one. Um, and then, you know, the other thing that I've
really noticed too is like standing in lines, like it's so nice to sit back and not stand in a beer
line, stand in the porta potty line, stand in the beer line again, stand in the porta potty line,
I guess. And so that, those are the two things that, that I've really, uh, gotten out of it. But,
um, it, it was, it was scary, you know, Bonnaroo, like I said, has been a really big part of my life.
And, uh, I've been gone from, like I said, being the raging teenager and young adult at the festival
and, and getting in precarious situations all over the farm to like, now I'm taking my teenager there
and she's been going, this will be her sixth year. So, you know, that, that transition is, is a lot,
but even, even so, you know, I didn't get sober the first time I tried. Uh, it took me many,
many attempts and many years to finally figure that out. And, uh, I think it was 2019. I'd had
about six months that I had been sober and I got on the farm and I couldn't imagine being on the
farm without an IPA. And I remember going to the bar over by, you know, the, uh, the Ferris wheel
and buying a beer and having one. And it would be another year before I got sober. And so, um,
it's scary that you need a lot of support and we've, you know, we've been very lucky to finally
have that, that support and grow together. And, um, so I think, you know, when you say more logical,
it's like, in some ways, yes, I was excited. I had my, my, my stuff ready. I had my, my NA beers
and my cold brew and, you know, lots of fun beverages to kind of keep me entertained and,
um, had some plans in place, but ultimately the festival remembering the shows, I have to agree
with Cassie so much and, um, and with Patrick and everybody, it's, it's a totally different
experience to remember everything and to enjoy it and to not feel like death in the hot sun under a
truck, you know, the next day, yeah. I mean, under a tractor trailer trying to find shades.
Yeah. And, and, and I, I, I get all that and had a lot of the same feelings for me. It wasn't
as difficult for Bonnarooo itself because for me, it, it, it wasn't a, a, a go and, and, and
and by the whole lot part of my year, I just did that everywhere else. Um, but it certainly was
something I thought about a lot, just like anything else, uh, that would be entertainment driven,
that hospitality driven, um, those kinds of things. Uh, but yet of course, the easiest quick
answer is, you know, you remember everything. I just didn't think, you know, our big conversation
too is that you're relearning how to do everything. Yeah. I think y'all taught, you touched on that
in the podcast. It's like at 49 minutes, I almost got to tears because it was so nice to hear
somebody else say it. Like you're having to relearn how to do everything from sitting on a patio,
going on a boat, going to a wedding. I mean, all of these, these life skills, if you started when
you were really young, you never learned how to do anything without it. And so Bonnarooo is just no
different. Yeah. Cause you said something a second ago, Tara, that kind of connects with that. You're
talking about planning and Alaska three of you and Brian, I want to hear the rest of your answer.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but you know, we all spend the now it's about the time when
regulars, we start thinking about our camp and our planning and what we're packing and,
and we've done it enough. We know, you know, at midnight, I'm going to have spicy pie and I'm
going to have a this and a, you know, a beer or a shot or a, or, or, you know, smoke a joint or have
a Brownie or whatever to sort of plan for the, did that have to change a lot? I mean, Tara, you're
kind of talking about that, you know, that's how we experience weddings and events and dances and
whatever, you know, where, where and when will we have a drink first? And then, you know,
is that a big part? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that goes back to the conversation of like, what
do you do first when you get to show you go to the bar line? You know, I mean, there's a ritual to
it. Yeah, there's a big ritual to it. And I think planning is just that packing. And to be fair,
like I've, I've been able, this will be my third year, this will be my third year. And I actually
can stay up later. I can go longer, you know, because I haven't been drinking since nine AM.
And so the plans have changed and they've changed for the better.
How about you, Kathy? Same thing. I definitely have made a plan the past two years. And that's
like my number one on sober Rue to do list is make a plan for me. I always got super drunk on
Thursday night. I know that's a big no, no. Yup. Been there. Done that. As soon as I would park,
yes, as soon as I would park and you know, you open the back hatch, you get out the cooler,
open up shotgun of beer. That was my thing. And then, you know, I just wouldn't stop. I would just
be extremely drunk by the time the music started. And then it would ruin my whole weekend, to be
honest. Cause I would be so hungover on Friday and it would just take the magic away for me,
just having being sick, like feeling hungover, headaches, stomach ache, all that stuff. And when
you're in the sun, you know, it's never fun. So my plan is, you know, have something else that you
can replace it with if possible. I like La Croix sparkling water, because I used to drink seltzer
a lot with, you know, like white Claw and things like that. So I like what La Croix and you can
always make it like fun. I like to put pineapple juice in there, like a little cocktail. And then
always, big advice for me is tell everyone that you're camping with that you are sober,
or that you want to remain sober and ask them for support. Like, Hey, I'm thinking about drinking.
I'd really like to pick up a drink right now and ask if they could help. Walk away if you need to.
And there's a sober room. They have meetings if you want to go visit that, if that's something that
is up your alley. But there's, there's a lot of support on the farm, but I think you just need
to communicate with people as well. Just to get them in your, in your team, on your team,
in your corner, just for them to help you out. Yeah, with a lot of us here on this call in
various forums have been here a lot of times. So been to festivals, Bonnarooo specifically,
a lot of times, and we know a lot about it. And, and, you know, that's why for me, Bonnarooo
specifically wasn't as big a deal, because it's just such a different place. I mean, there's just
so many places to get, to get your natural dopamine, to get to, to you. I did all that
set up crack a beer, two, three, probably key one or two. It's probably been quite some time,
but I've done that too. Like the excitement of we're here. I mean, I started doing this at
22 years old, 23, 24, Thursdays, Fridays, you know, there, those are lost long gone from the
memory bank. And, um, so yeah, it's, it's, I was a little nervous last year, but it didn't take long
for me to figure out that this one was going to be easy for me, luckily, but I do a lot of
events and Tara, you work in the industry. I mean, I do everything I do involves people drinking
and whatever else they're doing to enjoy themselves. And I look at that and smile at most of it.
That's fine. Every single thing I do, ballgames, concerts, small festivals, farmers markets,
every one of them has to do with that. That's a lot harder for me. Bonnarooo was easier because
it's, it is the special place. You know, this is where I, I turn into a little gushy mushy guy,
not, not to jerk all the time where I'm like, I'm just in a, it's just so easy to be in a good place
there at Bonnarooo. It just, it's that simple, but I did, I would have never understood that five
years ago. Like five, I, I couldn't, I could, I could conceptualize it, but then it would
evaporate really quick. And then who's mixing up the drinks. Like, and so, um, but to step away now,
it's been, it's been pretty easy and it's, boy, it's, it's exciting. I think Barry might've asked me
specifically, specifically last week, how my feelings were going into this week. I don't
remember how I'd answered it, but, or this year and it's, can't wait, you know, and I, I can't wait
because I just know how great of a place it is. Okay. Thanks for your patience. Yeah. Hey, Kai,
thank you. You want to come on in here? And thanks for, thanks for joining. I was, I was begging
Brian to ask Tara to make sure you were here today because, uh, uh, and I'll say this in front of you
and I've said it before in front of you, Kai is just one of the cool kids. Um, there's no question
about it. And you've been in part, you've been part of Camp Nut Butter, which is our camp for
almost, this will be six or seven. This will be seven. Okay. So you started very, very young.
I have a lot of questions for you, but this topic is not new to you. Let's be clear to people
listening. You're well aware of all of it. You have really cool parents who include you in discussions
and, and all of that. Right. So what are your thoughts hearing what you just heard today?
Let's just start there. Yeah. Well, um, I've been around drunk people my whole life too. I was
seeing like my mom's daughter, her work. We always had parties and get-togethers growing up. She's
been around it. Yeah. And you've probably been to the show. I mean, Tara ran. And she's been to
nightfall, the show. I've been around it my whole life. And, um, I've really seen her grow so much
and I'm really proud of her and all of the success. And I know kids my age were struggling with that
as well. Like I know kids who went to volunteer last year and they're 16, 17, and being absolutely
wasted, getting lost. And it's like such an early age to kind of start that pattern. Um, so like
having assets like Soberoo on the farm, I think is really important. Like what Cassie was talking
about, um, just moving. I just think that it's, it's a wonderful thing to have so much support,
especially just happy, fun, like- How in your, uh, and you don't have to be super specific,
but in your peer group, you know, outside when you're not around your mom and the, and the friends
that are your mom's friends that are, you know, in a, in a version of your friends too, when you're
in your own peer group, I imagine the conversations are a little different. Like how does that,
how do you approach that? Do you are, do you, do you just kind of let people do their thing or do
you- Yeah. I'm, I am lucky to not have a lot of like friends who are drinking. Uh, I just, I knew
like a couple of specific people and you can strive your best to help access things, but people are
just going to do whatever they want to do. Yeah. Unfortunately. And it's like, if you're not super
close and you don't want to tell their parents because that's a funeral tradition, being this
age and seeing it like substance abuse is just a really hard field to navigate. So if I find that
like what someone's doing does make me feel safe or I don't want to be part of it or around it,
I kind of somewhat I would like you need something that I can't give you and I kind of like distance
myself from something that's going to be negative. Well, part of the reason I wanted to ask that is
because I mean, we're significant difference in age, but it wasn't that long ago that, that I was
in high school and roughly your age and it just, the cultural changes over the last 25 years
make me so happy. You couldn't not go with the flow in the culture of which I grew up with
in public school in the nineties. It was just not part of it. You went along with it, whether you
want it, I wanted to, but if you didn't, whether you wanted to or not, you went along with it or
else you were not part of, you were not going to be a part of social, certain social groups and
settings. And at that age, and especially now I've Kai, how you do it with all this social media
nonsense, that's just sounds like a terrible struggle. And your answer was as simple as you
told it, as simple as anything else. So that's, that's encouraging me because I would have been
eaten alive by the peer pressure to be like, Oh yeah, yeah, that pills, that's cool. I want to do
that too. Or never, never like any kind of, and I don't mean preaching, getting in front and trying
to be an activist and create a mission, but to even push back and say, Hey guys, you sure about
this? They'd be like, yeah, we're sure you're out of here. You're not invited anymore, bro.
That's, that's a, that's cool. That's a cool shift to me. Yeah. I think a big conversation too. We
touched a little bit on this and harm reduction, right? Like they're, they're going to experiment
these, you know, we're, we're, we're going to see this there. I think there's a bigger leaning towards
being healthy in this generation. And I think alcohol is kind of cringe. If I want to get into
the lingo, right. That's great. That's great. Alcohol is kind of cringe and being wasted is kind
of cringe. And like, there's this whole kind of movement, right? But, um, you know, we, we definitely
talk about harm reduction and, uh, fentanyl is something that we are not going to escape. Um,
fentanyl test strips, you know, we try to keep them in the house. Uh, if there's 25 for $25 on
Amazon, um, Narcan, we've got organizations like be the place that are on the farm where you can get
Narcan. Uh, we've got CPR, uh, life wrap, which is made here in Chattanooga by Felicia Jackson.
I mean, there's just like your go bag, right? Like you're all your stuff and, and how do you
prepare your, your youth and your teenagers, uh, for who might be around them and how they can be
again, maybe not partaking, but at least be, um, aware.
While we're on that, I want to go to that direction a little bit more, Tara,
cause I've been impressed by how much you have put your effort energy into, um, awareness of this,
of the strips of being prepared of having, and I don't remember what all the products are,
the test strips, the Narcan, all these different things. And I've actually,
at times thought I should know more about this and I should push it more too,
because this would another thing to be frowned upon. Whoa, drug prevention, you know, preventative
kind of things. Well, that means they might be doing drugs. Okay. You know, that was just the
different world 25, 30 years ago. Speak to that some, I know moon river here locally had a,
a station this year. And I remember your socials being just like over the moon excited, say,
look at what moon rivers to how great this is. This has been a strong point to you and explain
a little further what you're talking about the kind of like almost a first aid kit for potential
drug overdose. And we're not talking about smack in the gutter overdose. We're thinking from the
movies from forever ago, we're talking about a pill, something that something you have no idea
you would think as harmless as it could be. Isn't if you would just expand on that a little bit
and your efforts in getting that awareness out. Yeah. I mean, it, it's just, you know, it scares
me for the kids nowadays. You can't experiment. You can't have fun. You know, these, we used to
have the impression and Brian, we grew up in similar times where, you know, alcohol, drugs,
it was in the media, it was everywhere around us. It was cool. It was what we did. It's how we made
friends. It's how we bonded. Right. And the fact is, is that if you can't stop it, you can at least
make it safer. And so that's where this term harm reduction comes from. And I didn't make it up.
Obviously I've, I've learned this and, and so these products like you used to have to do a lot of
drugs overdose. Yeah. Yeah. You used to have to really be spun out the OD, right? Beautiful point.
Beautiful point. We were thinking of just like guy can't stop goes all night. ODs. That's not
what we're talking about. That's not what we're talking about. Mixing stuff, you know, these,
these situations you're shooting heroin. I mean, like, you know, like there, there's like all these
things that we knew when we've all lost people. Right. And I think that's a big part of my story
too is I've got a lot of people I've lost. And so it's, it's one of those things where it's so
simple. And it's so easy and it's so available now that it's just seems silly. And it's like, you can
almost make a goodie bag for the person that you care about. That's going to Bonnarooo and throw
a thing in our can in there, throw a thing of these fentanyl test strips. And it's really easy.
You literally take this test strip and you put a little bit of whatever it is you want to do in a
baggie and you swirl it with some water, put the test strip in it. And it tells you if it has too
much fentanyl in it. Sounds pretty simple. If it does, don't do it. If it doesn't, you know,
whatever you're going to probably shouldn't, but, but proceed with caution. I'm not here to judge.
I'm here to try to keep people safe. Right. And so, um, so those are, those are those things.
I probably should have said at the beginning, because we're having this conversation two weeks
in a row, I don't think, and I don't want to speak for any of you guys, but I don't think we're
necessarily here advocating that everybody needs to go to Bonnarooo sober. No, not even a little bit.
Oh, absolutely not. Not even a little bit. Yeah. I'm marveling people who can recreationally just
dabble in a little drinking and a little recreational, whatever it might be. I'm marveled
the people who can do that in a very responsible way. And I can't, I can't, I said that for,
I can't do it. People ask me, you know, are you up there doing drugs all weekend? I said, I wish
cause that's the perfect place, but that's just not for me. I, it's, you know, I've always,
especially when I was still working at the paper, I, you know, my, my joking line was I'm that guy
that'll take some drug and end up naked up in a tree. And people will say, that's the guy from
the paper. I know. So it's death. So, but I want to make that point. That is not the point. I think
the point that we want to have this conversation is that it can happen. Uh, you can attend these
types of things and being prepared is, I mean, do it safely and all those conversations and Cassie,
you, you pointed out and, and I know Tara, you did too, but Patrick, that was one of the things
that really sort of hit me as a, as a someone unfamiliar with what all they do was the support
that sober offers. And Cassie, you mentioned it earlier, the support that you need, right? From
your friends to get away from it all. Um, yeah, Cassie, it also, I wanted to ask you a little bit
more specifically as, as you made that switch with your friends who probably didn't all do the same
thing you were doing as far as getting away from whatever substances it might've been, how was that
transition for you? Did, did people, um, did people look at you strange? Like, are you still
going to be able to be friend? Like, I went through that. I think a lot, I think that a lot of people
understand that. Yeah, for sure. It was a hard transition. Um, and I'll just say it's like the
ones who don't get with it, they get left behind. So if you're not supportive of me getting healthy,
then maybe I shouldn't be so close to you. It's a pretty good, it's a pretty good indicator
real quick that if someone thinks it was not supportive of your sobriety journey, there's a
lot of reasons why they don't need to be involved. And luckily, and Tara and I have so many cross
pollinated friends in this community. It's just, I mean, it's meant a million trillion, umpteen
billion, accountable, jillion dollars of, of, of anything I could imagine to me, you know, it's,
it's been a celebration to the point. It makes me feel awkward almost. And it, and I love it. And I,
and I love it. It's helped, it's helped me tremendously. Kyle, I'll ask you and you can
answer or not. Um, but when you're talking about, and kind of when Brian was talking about his high
school and mine, uh, the peer pressure and all that, were you at some point thinking, I can't
wait till I'm old enough to have a beer legally, or were you thinking, I ain't doing that ever?
Oh, I'm trying, it's kind of a, this switch, you know, like I think there was a really long time
I was like, I'm never going to do anything like that. I'm never going to drink or get wasted or
get hungover. And I think I feel that way right now, but there was definitely like a time like
sophomore, early summer year where I was like, oh, people drink, like it seems so fun. Like,
it's just like an experience and a rite of passage over it. But now like there's so many other things
that you can do to kind of get that feeling where you're not getting hungover, that I'm kind of,
uh, I'm personally, I think I'm okay without feeling crazy hard. Like,
self-mined lemonade and stuff like that. And people like beat that up.
I'm a fan. I'm a fan.
Yeah. So I mean, especially like, all these people, you saw them, they literally sound like
legal weed. And I think that for my generation at least, like being an alcoholic, like it's embarrassing.
Like, good, finally. I'm serious. Cause it's like, everyone's just thinking like there are so many
other things that you can do that make you feel a lot better and aren't like kind of trashy.
Well, I can't, can I real quick, just a little bit anecdotal, just comment more than anything
else is I'm glad you brought it up that way because in my day job, I work in the beer business and
we've had not meetings, cause I'm not in that world as far as real meetings, but with the
handful of people have been in the industry for a long time and, and I, and they might just be
looking at, all right, pipe down only, only sober guy in the company. Shut up. But I was, I was like,
you know what? I mean, the idea of drinking until you look stupid, we thought that was funny. I mean,
that had it almost like a cultural kind of, if there was memes, you know, back in the day that
would have, they, they, they would be there. It was almost, I don't want to say celebrated,
but it wasn't looked at as like, what a guy who is just kind of just, you know,
spinning away into a mess. And now I feel like Kai, your, your generation is, is like,
who wants to get gone on this, this, this stupid out, you know, package, package alcohol.
I think that's a great shift, not for my industry as much, but, but for humanity and young people
growing up through a very difficult time of peer pressure and trying to have fun, balancing,
trying to have fun, trying to define what fun is. That was my problem. It's a 40 something year old
did trying to define fun. I thought I was Mr. Fun. Now I got to try to define it again.
Nobody ever thought you were Mr. Fun. What, what I said, I thought that.
I think I'll just, I just want to say two things real quick too. And the conversations go around
the why of, of using and the science behind it underage, you know, like obviously we support it.
We support legalization. We support all these things. And, and then at that time, when she's
ready, that'll be something that we'll be frowned upon. But I do say that there's the science behind
starting at a young age, how it affects you, which, what, what you stop at is where you start out.
Right. And then just the why of like, are you doing this to prove that you're cool? Are you doing this
because you're sad? You know, there, there's all these kinds of conversations of the wide. I think
that bleeds into like at Bonnaroo, like why, if you're doing it to have fun and connect with your
friends, go for it. Go for it. You know, do you think. Cassie, I just be safe. I mean, we know
Kai is 17. I'm a little bit older, a little bit older than all of you. What we haven't really asked
about your sort of group. Uh, do you, you kind of hinted at that if, you know, somebody's not supportive
of you than see you. Uh, do you go, have you been going with the same group for eight years or, um,
is it, is it a change? Do you go by yourself? Like Camp Nut Butter, which is our group and,
and Tara and Kai and Joe have been part of it for many, many years as, as his Brian. Um,
so it's kind of the same group. And we noticed this shift last year. I think Russ and I were
probably the only two in camp that were, you know, having a beer. Um, we weren't, we don't,
they weren't shotgunning them. No, we never did. As I said last week, the idea of being hung over.
Can we do that this year though? I'd like to see that. Yeah. Give yourself some hard burn.
Yeah, we're not really, I don't think we, you know, maybe occasionally one night of the weekend
might be a little extra, um, might have been in the past, but it's not like we're, though we did
have a Bloody Mary tent for many, many years. That was a big part of our Sunday morning and Saturday.
Yeah, but that's my job. That's the beautiful part. We only had one Bloody Mary. You know,
it's not like we, we passed them around and had 10 of them. Yeah. No, I will always miss,
I will always miss Bloody Mary Sundays. It was a lot. It was a blast. So Cassie, how is that,
how has your group or your camp evolved, I guess, through this? Well, um, you asked if I had gone
with the same group for the whole eight years. The answer is no, there's been some overlap for
a few years here and there of people, but this past year I went by myself. Um, and it was my
favorite year just doing it solo, not having any agenda, like having to be somewhere, you know,
I don't want to leave the group or this, my group wants to go see the show, but I want to go see
this show, but I don't want to leave them. So I'm just going to go with them. Um, but when I went
by myself, I, um, just enjoyed it more. However, um, in the past, you know, the groups I was with
party pretty hard and I will say it has shifted. And now a lot of them still go on, go to Bonnarooo
and they don't drink or use substances either. So I will say it has evolved. I started going when I
was 23, I just graduated college. So I'm 32 now and we've, we've all evolved a bit and definitely
harm reduction, um, testing everything, um, being aware and just like educated on how to do that.
And, um, yeah, we've, we've evolved and I'm proud of everyone that I know that goes to root in that
regard. Um, thank you for sharing your age because I get, it really is a good spectrum here. We're
basically 17 to 60, uh, and at all points in between. So, Kai, I've been waiting all day to,
actually all week to ask you this question, cause I think, uh, and you can answer it. We don't have
to get into two specific details, but we have said on this show many, many times that Bonnarooo is not
for everyone. Right. It's a, it's a long slog. You got to be committed. You don't want to be there
with somebody who's not fully committed. Um, when you talk to your friends about this, cause you've
been going since you were 10. I mean, that's, that's a cool kid that can, that can like it.
Like I remember taking my kids to nightfall, which is our local summer series to see certain acts. And,
and it finally dawned on me that all they see are back and ease.
They're not having any fun now. They are. But anyway, so when you, like I said, talk about that
a little bit, that it's not for everyone. Uh, and then how, what, how you explain it to like your
friends, I'm sure they think, Oh man, that's so cool. You get to go see great bands and stay up
till two and three in the morning. And, uh, but it's not for everyone. Right. And if you don't
mind me real quick, I also talk about that a little bit when you were a little younger too,
not so much as now, cause I know the curiosity is over the charts now, even talk about a little
bit when you were younger, when most your friends wouldn't even imagine the opportunity. So just
sorry to overload that on you, but I was curious about that as well. No, I mean, well, the reason
my parents decided that I could go to Bonnaroo was I stayed up until three in the morning with them
on the court. When I'm like, you're ready. So that's kind of my, my like introduction. It was
going very, very fun. But yeah, I mean, the first year I went, like all these people, like they were
like, what are you wearing? Like, why are you like wearing like this like crazy, like clothing at
this, wherever the hell you are, you know, like that was like my first couple of years. I would
get replies on my stories of people. My name is just like really confused, you know, um, I would
wear like my bathing suits just out and about like 10 year old people were like, what are you doing?
You know, like it was, it was very like foreign to a lot of people. And it's funny now, like seeing
a lot of those same people going like rail burn or like also like wanting to go to Bonnaroo.
I don't know. Yeah, but you're right. It's not for everyone. Um, because this past year, some people
aren't able to kind of make it the full four days. I mean, I was very lucky to be a student at a young
age and I was given a lot more grace about it. Like, oh, kind of tired. Like that's okay. She's 11.
She can go to sleep in the pen. But like now like you're older and it's like, you gotta go. You got
all these shows that you want to see. This is a once in a lifetime experience for that specific year.
And you can't stop. Like you're going to have to stay up until four in the morning so you can go
see Sheila and Neil DJ. She's got it down. So, um, it's, you gotta kind of give grace to new people
because it's going to be hard. You know, your first year, and it's all like dust during hailing,
your lungs are dying, it's so hot outside. Um, they're just not used to it. And, um, yeah,
like a lot of my friends like, oh, I want to go, I want to go this year. I can kind of just look at
them like from knowing them. Yeah. But I'm also very lucky. Like we have, we park or we camp in
like a very nice area. We have a lot of privilege with that. And some people don't. Some people are
out in GA and they're waiting in line for hours just to get in the summer room. So if I was in
the GA, maybe I would be different. Real quick. You guys have done, I know you've done GA Tara.
I've done it with you partially. So, you know, GA, I do very well. Kai knows GA too, right?
Kai doesn't know GA. She spoiled. When she's 18, we're kicking her out into GA.
I'm sorry. Well, I mean, that doesn't discredit all of the points you just made. It is a different,
it's a different world out there. Kai. Let's segue real quick into that because Tara,
I know you have, what do you call them? Mama's rules. Oh yeah. The Rue Commandment. Rue
Commandment. This seems like a good time. Can you, I've got it in front of me if you don't have it
in front of you, but. I do. I got it. Yes. I'd like, I can't wait for this. And, and, and, uh,
what I loved about this most is, is for years and years and years, people would come up to me,
five years older than me, my same age, whatever the timeframe was with their kids getting to be
about 15, 16, 17. And it was always, Hey, is it safe for my kid to go to Banh Ru? And I've,
it's like, Banh Ru is not a dangerous place. It's not unless you don't have any idea what you're
doing and you don't know, you, even the basics, like even the basics, then yes, it could be,
but I said, you shouldn't be scared with your, your kid going off to the, even, even 15 years ago,
it shouldn't scare you unless you don't trust your child at all. And then you should be scared for
your child every day of your life. Yeah. Well, that was my answer. My, I always had two, one was
flippant, which was tell them, don't bring drugs, drugs, cause they'll find plenty there. You know,
that was the don't, but the truth was I said, if your kid is the type of kid that finds trouble,
then they'll find trouble. They'll find it. If your kid is a level-headed,
you know, responsible human being, they'll be just fine. That was always my short answers,
but Tara, you've developed because my daughter went with me, but she was a high school graduate
and ended up working, working. And, but she's like Kai, she's an old soul. She was that one who would
sit on the front porch with us till three in the morning as well. But I love these rules or these.
So if you don't mind run through them. Yeah, absolutely. No, I think, you know, and with Kai,
you know, her first, her first Sunday of Rue with Lorde and that kind of happened. And then we really
started going midtown was like a really easy, I think as a parent, if you're wanting to bring
your child into the world with you at festivals, starting off with a smaller, more manageable
festival is a good idea. But unless you really have experience of honor and you know, you can
really handle it. You know, it's like we started with midtown, right? We've done forecastle, we did
Lala, Moon River, River Bend. So, you know, she's been raised up in these things. And so our number,
our number one rule, and this was actually funny because this was the rule that I was given at 19
by the security company that I had to work for 12 hours on 12 hours off for two weeks on the farm.
And it was don't eat the goo ball. That simple. That simple. And it kind of has now revolved into
this like do not eat, smoke, drink, vape after anyone in the festival. A lot of these wonderful,
beautiful, beautiful people around you do not realize that you are 15 or 16 and they want to
share and that is beautiful. Right. And you can always feel empowered to just say,
you are adorable. Thank you. But no, thank you. I do not know where that came from.
Right. You know, did I listen to that when I was a teenager? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No,
but that's the number one rule. And now they just come in all forms, you know, so it's like gummy
bears, candies, brownies, you know, goo balls was the fun thing back in the day. And, you know,
you even hear those stories of people getting sprayed with drugs, you know, and so it's not,
I don't think anybody's out here with the money and this economy to spray people with their drugs.
But, but, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's that's that's number one.
Number two, do not run away with a cute boy or girl and no GA without an adult.
At 15, 14, 13, you need to determine at what point you let your child go into these arenas for us.
This will probably be the first year that I let her go meet up with friends because she's been
trained up in it and I feel confident. But at that time last year, and again, pending the child,
you need to absolutely never go to anyone's campsite without a buddy or without an adult.
And, you know, never go to anybody's tent, right? So that's just like me. It's just like at home.
We don't go into strangers houses. It's a lot harder when these people are all together.
They're all having fun. You're all around the cooler and stuff, but just no GA, nothing without an adult.
Good. So that was our that was our rule.
Number three rolling into that is the buddy system.
Staying together, service. There's no service half the time.
You know, talking about who to go to if you need help. The medical tent, somebody with a safety shirt,
knowing the map, knowing where you're located, finding those things around you, whether that be
the clock tower, your pod, something besides, hey, I'm next to that van with, you know, Minnesota
plates or the guy with the tie dye shirt and the beard, right? So like finding something more
substantial. The lemonade stand in front of what stage? Like where what is your plan on how if you
get lost, you're going to get back together with no service? Something that we implemented to this
year was time stamping our tech. Yeah, I love this part. It's so simple. It's like one of those.
Why don't we think about this a long time ago? Because we know tech a long time ago,
and I still aren't going to come through on a timely manner sometimes. And do time stamp.
Every one of them is very helpful. Yeah. So obviously, if you're at the volleyball court or
you know, or wherever at three o'clock and you text me, but by the way, I'm not going to be able to
get in there. I'm going to be there at three o'clock and you text me, but my text doesn't come in until
six o'clock. You're gone. I don't think you're still there. That information doesn't do me any
good. It's it's it's void. No, no good. So that was good that we started that. So what do you
all do? And if you do you just say it's 1030 in the morning, I'm at the Porter potty and pause it
you know, it may we may not say it's 1030, but it's like where are you? Like, you know, just kind of
like introducing your ending, whatever you think with the kind of kind of them. Yeah, like six
thirty at the what stage seeing Matt Mason, you know, or whoever. Yeah. And this is where I'm at.
And so because we split up where, you know, Joe has been Joe might go with her for a little bit
and I'll go see some shows and then we'll trade off. And so there's always somebody around.
And so that helps everybody. And then also, like meeting people is a big thing. Like everybody,
everybody thinks they're like, oh, my friends are there. I'm going to just go meet them.
And it's like, oh, I don't know if that's going to happen for you. But
but if you do want to meet friends, family, you know, somebody just go ahead and plan it ahead
of time. Like, hey, we're partying at Thursday, Thursday, five o'clock at the mushroom. That's
where we're going to get started and go ahead and have some of those schedules and plans in place,
especially if they're not camping with you. Yeah. And those big problems like you don't want to go
and you can't you can't just look around because so far from dancing jumping, it's like it could be
who you're looking for, but you're not going to. And they're right in front of you and you don't
even know it. And yeah, I will say I will say another kind of goes along with the timestamps
is what I like to do, especially when I go by myself is the very first day that I get in.
I find my friends campsites and then the rest of the weekend is I can't we don't have service.
I can't call them or text them. I'll just show up at their camp. And they're usually there.
They may or may not be there. But that's a good way to find people is know where your friends are
camped and where you could escape to if you need to. Yeah. Where your safe space is. Have a plan,
right. And if you get lost, know where you can go. I seem like last year, Kai, you I know I've seen
you guys, the three of you head out to the volleyball or to go play, you know, do things
as a family. How much are you on your own last year, Kai, now, and especially since your older
versus I mean, you know, you're not spending all weekend with mom and dad, are you? Yeah. I mean,
last year, we split up a couple of times. It wasn't really like splitting off. I would go in the pit
and they would be like way out at a tree somewhere. So we were all always kind of in the same area.
We would have a meeting spot, but it was almost like not like a leash, but just like, like,
we have a really long leash, the really long leash. I'm very. Yes. Yeah. That's right.
I think last year and for like maybe like two shows, met some people and then came back,
you know, so but I think this year will probably be a lot more freedom. I have a lot of coworkers
going. My boyfriend's coming. So we're kind of going to be hopping around. But yeah, I think
that's true. It's kind of like the last like hover. Yeah. He's leaving the Boninist.
No, the Boninist. I know. And knowing that she has a buddy with her that I trust
is a big deal. Right. So I know that she's got somebody with her and she's.
She knows her that place like the back of her hand. So she'll figure it out. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah.
Yeah. Just a couple more. I've only got six, six roles, right? Four is obviously hydrate,
nourishment and sunscreen. Don't go into the pit without water.
You know, like if you're if you're going to go stand at a rail for six hours waiting on a band
to play, like bring some water, figure it out. So many kids pass out. We saw that at Lala this year,
where I mean, they're just getting dragged out left and right, you know, from some heat exhaustion.
And we were trying to be the forecast. I remember what kind of got to, but we were trying to wait
for Tyler's creator to be like front and center for him. So I like he's like one of my favorite
runs all the time. So I got her with me and we're just standing there like five hours.
Like we are really in this. And she was like, I don't want to leave you here alone. So we went
and we found a pot of potty and that was the end of the day. No, no, no, that was not the end of the day.
It was not the end of the day. Do you know what happened next? What happened next?
Well, it's good. I did not do that. Anyway, those are pro moves. We are. So I'm too old to be
waiting six hours in the pit. But the other one is do not fight the flow. So I think that's one
thing we got caught up in this at Midtown once when she was really young and it was super embarrassing
where, you know, the wall that happens, like, is everybody familiar with like the wall of people
that you just can't get through and how if you're stuck, like it's easier to go out the sides than
it is to try to go out the back. And so teaching your child about the wall, I think, was safety
and crowds is really important. We got stuck trying to leave Midtown when she was probably 13
through Travis Scott. It might have been Travis Scott. And we were trying to leave. And so we're
in the middle. Somehow it happened so fast, you know, so we should have gone around to get to our
exit. But instead, I kind of went through, but the crowd just came in and we were stuck. And literally,
I had a light up wand and I just was dragging her through all of these people and just go, whoa,
you know, making my noises. Yeah. Making my noises, going through, dragging this 13 year old through
this situation. And we get to the end of it and Kai is so upset. And I, the mother was like,
I'm so sorry. I know that was really scary. And she's like, no, that was, you're so embarrassed.
She sticks on literally every single blanket event. We had to get out.
That seems to be a pattern at Travis Scott concerts.
Yeah. So we had to get out. So we got out, we were safe and I was the cringe, you know, mom. But
and number six is just have fun, be weird, tell everyone it's your birthday, be whoever you want
to be. You know, we're going to have a blast and it's Bonnarooo. And so just have fun. It's really
the place where everyone is accepted, where you can be who you want to, you can dress how you want
to. And I just can't ever, you can't explain that to somebody who's never been until they go.
Yeah. That's, I mean, that's a, it has occurred to me more and more that we do this show, how much
this event means to me. When you sent me your text and Cassie, I'll send it to you so we can,
you can see what we're talking about, but Tara's talking points and these rules, I showed it to my
wife who's been to Bonnarooo for 10 minutes. And I said, this is why I care so much. And it's because
Tara, what you, what you said, everybody who goes has similar, everybody has their own unique stories
and takeaways, but there are so many similarities is what I, and this is it.
We talk about this stupid event year round. Yeah. Yeah. Almost every day. Right. And so for people
listening, you know, and again, 40% are going to be new, you know, be first timers. And so they're
watching this thinking, man, these people are crazy or maybe we are, but we love it. We are.
I want to ask Cassie, any, your own tips. I mean, I don't know that you've written them down.
Just Bonnarooo tips in general. Yeah. And maybe even coming from a,
where you're not drinking and stuff these days, tips that have maybe changed over the last eight
years for you. Yeah. Well, biggest tip is shade. To me, you need shade. Bring a canopy and put
tapestries, bed sheets, or blackout curtains around and tie them together with binder clips
or zip ties. You don't want to come without your shade. It's just a fact. The first year I went in
2014, for whatever reason, we didn't bring a canopy. It was miserable. Still had a lovely time,
but it was just awful. You know, it was like boot camp out there. Next tip. I like to pack my
backpack for center roof, like all day. I'll pack my daytime stuff. I'll pack my nighttime stuff. So
I always have like a pair of pants, a long sleeve shirt because it gets cold when the sun goes down.
I always have granola bars. I always have water on top of water. I always carry a
reusable water bottle and then also a camelback, like the straw that goes in your backpack.
And then another tip that I haven't done, but I feel like is pretty helpful, is to rent a locker
if you don't like to carry around a lot of stuff because those are over by the watt stage and you
could just put your stuff in there if you don't want to carry around. I always have a fan in my
backpack, a hand fan and then also a battery powered fan. And now I also carry a very compact
compact small umbrella in there as well. So I just, I just like to keep my backpack very stocked with
things I need, you know, electric, electrolyte powder, things like that. And I always pack my
backpack before I get to Rue so that whenever I get my camp set up, I just grab my backpack and
go on center. What I was going to ask you, uh, Kai and, and, and because you mentioned Tara, that
the getting through that, I think you said it was Lala getting through that, that, uh, midtown,
getting to that crowd and, and maybe went the wrong direction. And, and the end result was
she was embarrassed. Um, Kai, I know, I know you might not want to ask, answer this question in
front of your mother, but I know that the relationship is there that you probably will,
at least to a certain degree. At what point over these, you know, these six years that you've been
doing this, was there ever a time when it was kind of like, mom, all right, you're killing me now.
You're killing, you're killing me. Like I, I know your attitude is good cause I, cause I see it
every year. I know that your attitude is good. I also know that we all, no matter how good our
attitudes can be, can go south at times where there sometimes where, and I know the list of rules
might not have been existed yet, but they still existed within your, you know, your talking points
and like, was there times when you were like, mom, I can't take any more of this.
I can't for the moral, but even just like, you're, it's so hot out there. It's so easy to just snap
if you're in a bad mood. Um, like here you're talking about Pedro Pascal.
I mean, it's hard just not for anyone and everyone. Like even the people that you love and
cherish the most, like you are being challenged out there. It doesn't mean anything. And you're
especially like being with the same people all four days, all day and night, like not at two.
Yeah. If you're tired of them, then that, that, um, and they can end.
Well, I remember, I don't know if it was last year or two years ago, but I think it was two
years ago when it was so hot. I remember you getting up kind of saying, I'm tired of listening
to you guys wine. And I was like, thanks.
She's right. I think they're really honest out there with all of you. I'm never the 15 year old
just took us. Hi, Kim's with a bunch of grumpy. Surely I wasn't involved with this. I'm, I'm
irritated fast. Yeah. It was funny because it was true. Um, but I mean, I, I love listening to you
guys. Enough's enough. Sometimes I said, I already never do.
Yeah. Well, you never, you never grow out of a lot of this stuff because me and Barry and just
texts and other stuff have kind of joked recently that I'm like, I finally get all your,
you're getting old soon guy, uh, stuff that Barry's been saying for like a decade.
Oh yeah. And so I'm like in my mid early thirties, like, yeah, old, old guy. He just
wait. He, I love him to death, love him to death, but he's, he's off base on this one. No, he's not.
No, he's not. And I was in my thirties. So I get it. I get it. When you wake up and you hurt,
that's when you know, and you didn't do anything but sleep. It's begun. Um, all right. Uh,
uh, I want to ask everybody who you're looking forward to seeing. Yeah.
Your schedule, uh, uh, was released in the last, you know, it's been almost two weeks now,
but, uh, definitely want to get, especially you, Kyle. I'd like to know, um, where, where your,
where your map is going. Um, or at least your hopeful map and you'll see what happens once
you get there. Um, if we want, we can start right there. If you guys want to.
No, I mean, um, I am super excited. I have a ton of people on here, but I'm going to try to make it
as irresponsible. I think this year's going to be good for like newer people. Cause I feel like the
headliners aren't like, as hard hitting. I'm saying usually most people agree with that, but yeah,
but a lot of like the smaller smaller acts, I think are really exciting for me. Um, I'm just like,
I always hate how they do the schedule because they'll overlap like every woman I love, but I'm
Thursday kind of just like everyone there. Like, I don't really know a lot of people, Matt Maltese.
Um, I like him and then war with my mom. I don't know, I don't know like that, but she does.
So yeah, we're going to bar. You've seen them before, Tara. Oh,
it seems like I remember you telling some gore stories. Oh, I got some. Yep.
I love people. Girl is one of my favorite artists at all times. I love their music. Um,
it really like defines my one and my like freshman sophomore year. So this will be my third time
seeing them. Um, Dominic Bikes amazing. Lizzie McAlpine. I've, I've started listening to her
like my Easter is here and she's really like growing in popularity. She has my, not like
have heard of her, but she wants her with you. Let's flip. Like she's really come really far away.
So I'm excited to see her. Um, Sundercat, Sam Webster is someone I've been dying to see for
years. Um, Saturday with Cigarettes After Stag, Ethel Pins amazing. Um, Casey Alphitt and Ryan
Speedy, I think. Betty maybe. Um, but that's kind of my Saturday fix. Sunday, um, I'm super excited
for Eva's tumor, Goth Babe and Jova Bath. Goth Babe has always been such an amazing show. Like I love
seeing it often and you've got tumor. It has great music. So I'm really excited. We've seen Jova
a couple of times too. Yeah. Like most of twice and he's really good too. Um, really inspirational
weirdly, but I've definitely written down some stuff. He says it's his concert and I know that
you know, I think it's going to be a great year for people who haven't done before. Um, and I
think it's a great year for music as much as everyone's complaining. Cassie, what about you?
What are you looking at? What's, what's your schedule look like? Just kind of a rough, uh,
run through how your, yes, I did. I have some, I have some artists that are right down. Um,
as far as my top, uh, top is Pretty Lights. Next is Ashnikko. I'm very, very excited to see her.
Um, next after that is Crumbin. Um, and then I really want to see this drum and bass artist
called Shy FX. Um, cause I feel like we don't really get a lot of drum and bass on the farm
and I'm super excited about that. And then, uh, Megan Thee Stallion on Sunday and then Guar. I
love Guar. I've seen him before. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. I'm so, yes.
We'll have to meet up for that one. Y'all know that starts at two in the morning, right? That
starts at two in the morning. On Thursday. I'm going to do it. I don't think I'm going to dress,
yes, I'm not going to dress in white or anything because I don't want to like have to wash all that
off after, cause there's no showers, obviously. Y'all just tell me about that one. Just let me
know about it. And then T-Pain of course, uh, is in my top two, um, because Bonnarooo is so nostalgic
for me. Like they're all, a lot of the acts that they bring are like from my childhood. So I really
enjoy seeing, um, artists like T-Pain. So those are my top. Um, I think there are some definite
conflicts, especially with T-Pain and Thundercat. Um, and Mars Volta, I think is the same time.
Mars Volta. Yeah. We talked about that last week. Yep. I was going to say the exact same thing.
All at the exact same time. What are they doing? What are they doing? Ridiculous. I'm going to go
to T-Pain and then I'll probably end the night, like the last 20 minutes at Thundercat. Not that
you asked, but that's... Well, we did have that. Good to know. I was trying to figure out how I was
going to handle it. So, yeah, I'm good. Very, very excited for Guar. We'll definitely have to meet up.
Tara, what you got? Oh, um, I, let's see. Yeah. Thursday Guar with Kai. I just, it's something
that a mother and daughter should experience together. Heard here only on this show. Guar is
something a mother and daughter should experience. Time stamp that. Make a promo. I love it.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So we're definitely going to go hang out at that. Uh, let's see. We've got
Friday. I have the same problem with T-Pain, Mars Volta and Thundercat being all at the same time.
So I'm going to figure that out somehow. Um, let's see. Saturday we got Brittany Howard,
Cigarettes Out for Sex, Parcels, Pretty Light. Uh, and then yeah, Sunday, Megan Thee Stallion.
You know, I, I'm really excited to see Megan Thee Stallion. I'm very excited to see that. Uh, but
other than that, you know, I'm going to let her drag me around and let everybody drive me around
to see what I can see. My favorite, favorite part of Bonnarooo is walking to the place where I don't
know any of the artists and walking home being a fan. That's the best, isn't it? Yeah. And it's the
most, it's the most common comment from people who have, you know, who understand what this is.
And that's, uh, that's a common bond amongst most everybody, most Bonnarooians anyway.
I think to me from, from, uh, someone who's written about music for as long as I did,
that's probably been the biggest shift, uh, really is this idea of discovering somebody new versus,
you know, being a fan of the number one song on the radio that gets played 15 times a day.
Uh, it wasn't always that way. Yeah. I think that's cool. So, all right. Well, thank you guys so much.
Um, I knew this would be a lot of fun and it has been, uh, appreciate you giving up some time,
uh, and, and sharing, um, you know, some pretty personal stuff really. Uh, but I think it's
important and glad we did it. So, yeah, thank you very much. And boy, I mean, we're looking at my
wrist as if there's a watch it's getting, I mean, snap your fingers. It's going to be here. May's
almost here already. So this is, uh, yeah. Exciting times. Try to get those outfits together. Now.
I got my time to make all my friends to give out.
Oh yeah. Here's her obsession with that guy. I mean, he's fine, but come on.
All right. So there you go. Uh, once again, um, two things, Brian, that, that stuck to me with me
from last week and this week is this idea of support. Uh, that, you know, I've not been through
it. I, I have in my own mind perception and I ask you and I ask them, you know, were you worried
about going to an event like this sober? How much does that change impact your, you know, your
thoughts? And what I keep hearing is support. The fact that there is support, if you need to go talk
to somebody, you can, if you need to get away from your, your group because they're not helping or,
you know, somebody, um, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
um, that, that the support is there and they're happy to help. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's really that
simple that, that, that it's there if you need it. And if you don't need it even better, you know?
And so that's been, um, that's been interesting to talk about from now through three different
people and really the, and the third, the first being, you know, the founder of the organization,
um, everybody kind of had the same similar answer, even, uh, Patrick from last week,
even if it wasn't specifically the same worded answer. Yeah. There was, there was a little fear
like everybody, everybody. I mean, that's a very, very common thing. And to be able to all understand
that, that, cause I mean, I thought I was a fool for it. Like, how stupid, I mean, how stupid do
I sound and look or how, like I felt I was, I did have some insecurities, not so much they ate me
alive, but a little bit. And to know that the more you hear like, Hey man, this is normal. This is
how this works. Roll with it, roll with it. And then when you're in a world like Monro that we're
so familiar with, it doesn't take long to get comfortable and to roll with it. If you took me
to Lollapalooza or you took me somewhere I've never been, I don't know how well I would do.
Sure. Sure. I don't, I don't know. Um, you know, Shaky Kneess in two weeks. And it used to be one
of my, not guarantees of the year, but it certainly was a very close to probably, I, you know, don't
have as ton of interest anymore, even though I'd be perfectly comfortable there as well. So I think
the Bon Roo, I hate to use the word magic, but that's what it is. That's what it is. And it, man,
it, it, it, it helps. It really, really, really does. Yeah. I appreciated the answers and, uh,
all right. Well, there you go. Another good show. Um, thanks again to all those guys for giving up
time to talk into a couple of dopes like us on this silly show that we do every week. Hey,
Hey, yeah, absolutely. Thank you. We'll be back next week. Um, like share and do all that stuff.
And thanks to Consequence for, for letting us do this. So see you guys and have a great week.
Yeah.
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